by Margaret Schrum

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, everyone can be a pleasure researcher at any age. In fact, the best way to know pleasure is to have an understanding of what feels sensual and sexy to you. Begin with a great sense of humor and a curiosity about exploring all of your senses: touch, taste, smell, sight and sound. Begin exploring one sense at a time and just notice what is enjoyable or not, this will give you valuable information that will help you get more int touch with your body.  Here are some fun examples of how you can do some pleasure research:

Sound ~ Peruse Pandora.com and create a radio station based on your favorite band, artist or even music genre. Try out some sexy Brazilian music like Marissa Monte or type in Paris Cafe for a selection of fun French music that will put you in the mood.

Sight ~ Create a beautiful bedroom environment, include flowers, art, beautiful furniture, pretty bed linens and pillows like these at Agent Provocateur home. Remember to remove anything that reminds you of work, like laptops or bills.

Smell ~ Visit a perfumery like Bond 9.  Each fragrance represents a specific downtown, midtown, or uptown locale or a city-wide sensibility. With new introductions in the coming seasons, Bond No. 9 infuses the island of Manhattan with scents.

Taste ~ Read InterCourses, an aphrodisiac cookbook and prepare a platter of sensual foods to feed to your lover.  Even better take turns blind-folding each other and then slowly enjoy the taste, texture and delicious experience of slowly enjoying food.

Touch ~ Treat yourself to a full body scrub, a relaxing bubble bath or hot stone massage. The Great Jones Spa in NYC offers a variety of services plus they have a water lounge for guests to use before and after treatments.

Have fun researching!

by Margaret Shrum

Time is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. If we’re going to reclaim a life of feeling confident, sensual and empowered, we need to invest the time into accepting ourselves. Here are three steps to help you use your time to meditate and focus on feeling good inside:

Step One: Take 15 minutes each day to sit alone quietly and just breath. Just focus on your breath and relax. You can do this sitting or laying down. This is your quiet time to relax and reflect on your day.

Step Two: When you finish the 15 minutes, end by embracing the concept of complete acceptance of who you are at the present moment in your life.

Step Three: Write down what your experience was like for you. Did you find a deep sense of relaxation or was your mind racing with things you have to get done? Did you relish in the fact that you took 15 enjoyable minutes to be selfish and rejuvenate or did you feel guilty about taking the time?

To make mediation a daily habit, commit to taking the 15 minutes a day for the next 3 months. You owe this intimate pleasure to yourself!

by Margaret Shrum

I love how a scented candle can create romantic atmosphere in any room. Crisp champagne, black fig, tuberose and  jasmine, are just a few of the exotic scents that I find pleasurable. To spice it up even more, there are a variety of soy based scented massage candles that are for pouring directly onto the body and sharing with your lover. To mark this Valentine’s Day, LELO is offering their Black Pepper & Pomegranate Massage Candle in a specially designed gift box – an ideal gift for that special someone who might want to light your fire! Made from all natural soy wax, shea butter and apricot kernel oil, the silky long-lasting formula is specially designed to nourish and moisturize your skin with natural vitamin E, while the subtle fragrance excites your senses for the pleasures that lie ahead. For women who adore orchids, Fun Factory has created an orchid scented massage candle with mango butter and vitamin E, high-quality jojoba, avocado, sesame, grape seed, almond, olive and palm oils. The warm oil glides easily over the body, with a temperature that is pleasantly warm and relaxing. If you can decide which scent to choose, Jimmy Jane has an adorable four massage candle gift set, featuring the scents cucumber water, pink lotus, black currant and bourbon. They have a fun video and massage tips on tips on their website that consider all of the facets of the experience – not just touch, but also temperature, sound, scent, and illumination.

by Margaret Shrum

After fitting and styling literally thousands of women in the dressing rooms over the past two decades, the topic of pleasure and sensuality often comes up.  I will be contributing Intimate Pleasures articles twice a month that will include fun resources and products from the fine lingerie and upscale pleasure industries with advice about how to incorporate it into your life. I’m passionate about the experience of a woman adorning her body with beautiful lingerie for the pleasure of indulging in the sensuous feel of the silk and lace, then gazing upon her reflection and admiring herself. It is a romantic idea for the modern woman, to encourage using lingerie as a powerful tool and a secret weapon to help face life’s challenges.  Wearing beautiful lingerie, valuing oneself enough to take the time to invest in learning proper sizes and styles that fit and flatter your figure can change a woman’s perception of herself. In addition to having clothes fit better with proper under garments, I believe that women who wear beautiful lingerie tap into their sensuality, confidence and celebrate their feminine assets. It all boils down to self-care and giving oneself permission to incorporate more beauty and pleasure into your life, which can ultimately lead to more joy. And modern women deserve more joy!