By Margaret Shrum

Last week, a new lover was celebrating his birthday and I couldn’t figure out what to buy him!  He’s the kind of man who doesn’t need any material items and tends to be a bit of a workaholic, so after sharing my dilemma with a couple of close friends, we came up with the perfect gift! The gift of time together; an unforgettable night of fun filled surprises, romance and full attention on him.

I kept it all a secret until just hours before our date, although I did give him a few instructions so that he would be prepared for whatever the night would bring. Fortunately, he was open to my little adventure and found it all very exciting.  Our night began with him meeting me at a hotel room in a trendy NYC neighborhood. I arrived first to set up the room and create a more intimate atmosphere, taking us out of our normal environment. When he arrived I was dressed like a goddess in a sexy red strapless cocktail dress & gold heels with a nice bottle of chilled champagne ready for us to make a Birthday toast. Being in a hotel room, made us both feel like we were on vacation and put us in a festive mood.

Next, we walked to romantic restaurant for dinner where we played a sexy Q & A game over our meal, which whet our appetites for the rest of our evening. Finally we headed back to our room and I gave him a sensual dance with a playlist I had created, while feeding him chocolate covered strawberries! He loved the gift of spending romantic time together and especially loved the creativity and adventure of it all.  The preparation and planning of all the delicious details was almost as exciting as the night itself, mostly because I anticipated how much fun we would both have enjoying it all!

Being spontaneous and doing things differently is one of the easiest ways you can shake up your routine and arouse your senses. This can be as simple as taking a different path to work, trying a new restaurant or even dressing differently. Begin by creating a list of things that you desire to try out and choose “to do” at least one new thing every day. Not only will this give you a new sense of adventure, it may open you up to discovering more about yourself and expand your confidence.

This is also something you can share and invite your friends or partner to consider doing together. It will certainly spice up a relationship and bring a fun and playful energy that may lead to more arousal and pleasure for all involved. Stepping out of your routine and comfort zone can be fun and open you up to creating memorable experiences. Every day can be an opportunity to play and invite others to join you in your adventure, a  much needed escape from the mundane. How can you create more pleasurable adventures in your life?

By Margaret Shrum

In honor of Mother’s Day, this May 13th, let’s celebrate how Motherhood can be an opportunity to take the most exquisite care of our bodies and our lives from pregnancy and throughout all the stages being a parent. For those of you who are mothers and are shaking your head, thinking “if I only had the time…” please consider reading this to the end.

When I was pregnant, I worked full time up until my due date at a high-pressure fashion job that required 12+ hour days and overtime on the weekends. I did not take exquisite care of my pregnant body, mostly because I did not even know what that meant. I was healthy and had a very easy pregnancy, but looking back I wish I had taken it easier, taken more time to enjoy my growing body and nurture myself.

Being a mom goes hand in hand with taking care of our children, our spouses and sometimes our other family members. Mother’s, who have careers, are on double duty and often feel completely overwhelmed and unsatisfied with all the demands. Feeling like there is never enough time is the norm and it eventually catches up with even the most organized super mom’s.

Sometimes it takes a life altering experience for “us mom’s”, to stop and reassess out own self-care. For me, it was surviving 9/11 and escaping from the World Trade Center with my then 3 year old daughter held close to my bosom. After such a terrifying experience, I woke up and committed the past decade to taking the best care of myself, so that I could be the best parent and role model to my daughter. Some of my friends have shared similar stories about surviving cancer, losing their job, getting divorced and several other life changing experiences that pushed them to focus on ultimate self care.

So, how can motherhood be more pleasurable and how can we take better care of ourselves despite the hectic, multi-task schedules we have? Here are some ideas – feel free to incorporate these or be inspired to come up with your own:

1. Plan “Me” time every day, which means scheduling in a 15 minutes to one-hour window of time, spent focusing on things that are just for your own pleasure. This “Me” time means it does not include anyone else in your life. Examples could be listen to your favorite music and dancing in your living room, going to a cafe and ordering yourself whatever you desire on the menu or it could even be as simple as reading a book or watching a little television.

2. Once a week, schedule a “date night” with your significant other. If you are single, schedule a date with someone new or meet up with your girlfriends for a girl’s night out. It is so important for us to nurture our adult relationships and have some grown up fun.

3.  Indulge in monthly beauty and spa treatments. Book a massage, a facial, a body scrub, a new cut & color, manicure- pedicure or anything that sounds relaxing, pampering and totally decadent. If this is out of your budget, then do it yourself at home or together with other mom’s.

4. Sign up for my 30 Day Lingerie Goddess challenge, which are 30 days of pleasurable exercises sent directly to your email box. Pick and choose what to do and end up feeling great as well as creating the most beautiful lingerie wardrobe of your dreams!

“Your pleasure has value and plays a crucial role in your life and the life of your family.”
–Mama Gena

by Margaret Shrum

As a pleasure researcher, many women ask me to recommend pleasure products that I think they should try out. I decided to carry Fun Factory products on The Lingerie Goddess website because I began using their products and felt that they were exceptional and matched the high level of quality of my brand.

Dirk Bauer and Michael Pahl were fresh out of university when they founded their company Fun Factory in 1996. Their business idea? They wanted to produce aesthetic and trendy erotic toys that really speak to women and build a name for quality and class. “We recognized a gap in the market and made the decision to do something. Our products should unite aesthetics, quality and functionality. They should be … Read more

by Margaret Shrum

I invite you to take some time to yourself, make a cup of tea or have a glass of wine and write an “Ode to your body”.  It can be about one specific body part, like your thighs, tummy, your wrists, whatever you desire. Or you can write an ode to your entire body. I found it incredibly liberating and healing to slow down and celebrate myself as I wrote my ode below. Enjoy reading and writing your own ode!

An Ode to My Beautiful Body

Silky black hair,
I love how you frame
My face
As my big red lips
Smile, white teeth gleaming
Laughing at how much time
I’ve spent walking
On these strong legs
And sturdy feet
Over the last four decades.… Read more

by Margaret Shrum

Nookies Pleasure Apparel was inspired by an article that suggested women experience increased sexual pleasure when their feet are warm.  The creator, Susie Shina told me that she began wearing socks every time she had sex.  “I wore everything from my husband’s work socks,  to my tennis socks, chunky hiking socks and thin, fashionable socks.  If the socks were warm, they weren’t sexy – if they were sexy, they weren’t warm and just didn’t do the job.  So I started creating this grand vision of a sexy sock line in my mind.”   Then early 2010, Susie partnered with Chris Baeza, who had over 20 years experience in the sock and fashion industry and they created Nookies to add pleasure, fun, elegance … Read more

by Margaret Shrum

Hands down, confidence is the sexiest accessory that a woman can wear.  Being perfect is so passé….It’s time to celebrate what makes you as a woman unique and take it up a notch, even flaunt it! Have fun with your quirkiness, brag about how smart you really are, play up your natural born talents and boldly shout it out to the world. No apologies for you curves, or your long lean frame, whatever you were blessed with, it’s time to embrace it and enjoy the perfection that is you. In my opinion, some of the happiest people have learned to accept themselves and even “get a real kick out of themselves”, not taking things too seriously and having fun in the … Read more

by Margaret Shrum

It doesn’t matter if you’re single or in a relationship, everyone can be a pleasure researcher at any age. In fact, the best way to know pleasure is to have an understanding of what feels sensual and sexy to you. Begin with a great sense of humor and a curiosity about exploring all of your senses: touch, taste, smell, sight and sound. Begin exploring one sense at a time and just notice what is enjoyable or not, this will give you valuable information that will help you get more int touch with your body.  Here are some fun examples of how you can do some pleasure research:

Sound ~ Peruse Pandora.com and create a radio station based on your favorite band, artist … Read more

by Margaret Shrum

Time is one of the greatest gifts we can give ourselves. If we’re going to reclaim a life of feeling confident, sensual and empowered, we need to invest the time into accepting ourselves. Here are three steps to help you use your time to meditate and focus on feeling good inside:

Step One: Take 15 minutes each day to sit alone quietly and just breath. Just focus on your breath and relax. You can do this sitting or laying down. This is your quiet time to relax and reflect on your day.

Step Two: When you finish the 15 minutes, end by embracing the concept of complete acceptance of who you are at the present moment in your life.

Step Three… Read more