By ALI CUDBY
As a parent, some of my most frustrating moments occurred around statements like these:
“My stomach is achy. I shouldn’t go to school.”
“I didn’t mean to be disrespectful.”
“Oh, I must have misunderstood. I thought you said I could .”
What’s frustrating about these comments is that they’re all open to interpretation. Impossible to confirm one way or the other.
Does my child, in fact, feel achy? Or is she trying to find a way to bag out of school? Even if her tummy hurts, is it sufficiently serious to merit a day at home?
Can I say, with certainty, whether or not my child INTENDED to be disrespectful?
Did my child actually misunderstand what he was/was not allowed to do?
With all of these, the best I have is my STRONG suspicion of the gap between their what they said and what they meant. But I can’t prove it. Pinning down their words is like nailing jello to a wall. The more you try, the mushier it gets.
I feel the same way about Donald Trump and his comments about women.
After the first GOP debate, when he said Megyn Kelly had blood coming out of her “wherever,” what did he intend to imply? That she was having her period? That would seem to be the inference. What is that supposed to mean
By using mushy language, Trump danced away from the comment, insisting that he didn’t actually intend to suggest Kelly was menstruating. After the fact, he declared he actually meant to suggest, “she was so angry that she seemed to be bleeding from some other orifice—like, say, a nose, or an ear.”
He used a similar pattern when talking about about Carly Fiorina in Rolling Stone Magazine. “Look at that face. Would anyone vote for that?” was the direct quote.
It certainly seemed like he was making a derogatory comment about her looks. When confronted with it later, Trump redefined the comment by suggesting he was referring to her “persona.”
No matter what your political affiliation, these comments matter to all women.
Beyond being disrespectful, Trumps words relegate women’s brains as being secondary to their bodies. Kelly and Fiorina are professionals and they have earned the right to be on the stage as an equal with the other moderators and candidates. Trump’s comments define them by biology. Worse, rather than own his comments outright – so there can be legitimate conversation about what he said – he redefines his words after the fact. It reminds me of my children.
As a parent, just because my kids used slippery language didn’t mean I bought it, and didn’t excuse their actions.
Yes, you need to go to school.
That WAS a disrespectful tone, and you can spend some time in your room thinking about it.
You disregarded a rule. If you did the crime, you do the time – claiming ignorance isn’t an excuse. Maybe you’ll listen better next time.
Trump wants us to dismiss his comments without any consequences. He tries to redirect anyone calling him out as being “political correctness police.” Just like parents clarifying the boundaries for children, it’s up to us to draw the line. These aren’t just any remarks, they are part of the Presidential conversation, and Trump is making a bid to speak for ALL Americans if elected.
Trump’s words imply that how women look and act by virtue of being women has a valid place in the political discourse. No matter your feelings about Trump as a candidate, we owe it to women everywhere to reject that flimsy logic. Trump may choose mushy language to make his thinly veiled points, but it’s important for women of every political affiliation to be extremely clear – these comments cross the line.
