Creating Modern Romance
By Margaret Shrum
I’ve always been a romantic, I love corny, sentimental, passionate, epic swooning and idealized fairy-tale endings. Several friends and clients complain that romance is currently dead and intimacy is rare. Online dating, porn and texting have geared us up for instant gratification. Our busy lifestyles have taught us concise communication and trained many of us to get-off quickly and even anonymously. But these non-romantic, genital centered sexual exchanges, generally lead to feeling empty and unsatisfied, especially for women but also for men. Here are some tips to reignite romance and bring intimacy back into our busy lives
Eden Art by Ines Honfi
1. Make romance a priority, have a transparent talk about it with your partner and come up with a plan to consciously schedule time each week to enjoy each other romantically for at least 3 hours, hopefully more. Take turns coming up with new “dates and adventures” to share together, try new things, stretch out of your comfort zones.
2. Set the mood and agree in advance to turn off technology like cell phones, i-pads, TV, etc. Be aware of your surroundings and enjoy experiencing all of your senses, touch, taste, smell, sound and a pleasurable atmosphere. Your date could involve nature, like a picnic on the beach or in the park, it could involve being active, like ice skating and holding hands, it could be getting dressed up and going dancing or doing something you both enjoy or maybe even trying something completely new like going to see a burlesque show or spend the night at a fancy hotel and drink champagne while taking a bubble bath together!
3. Be present with your partner, let go of busy minds, take a moment to sit together, breathe deeply and release any wandering thoughts. Go to your partner and look them in the eyes, touch them gently and take turns sharing three gratitude’s you feel about them. State any desires you have and begin your romantic journey.
4. Honor yourself and your partner, celebrate your intimate connection and surrender to each other. Take time to enjoy this romantic time and remember to have a sense of humor and an open mind. This is about having fun, it’s not work and should not be stressful.
