Must We Still Wear Black To Funerals?

By Amanda Horan Kennedy

I buried my father last week, admittedly a blessing but so hard to see it that way or to think of anything else as I return to life. So why write about this for a blog on glamour? Well the subject of what color to wear was a topic of family discussion. We all agreed it was a somber occasion to which most people wear black. On the other hand my father’s passing was a relief because he was spared another day the ravages of Alzheimer’s.

My father was an Irish American entrepreneur who served his county in WW2, loved his family, friends and country with unmitigated loyalty. Everyone who knew him for his charm, fairness and colossal joie de vivre adored him. With that in mind, my oh-so-proper mother said no to black. “How dreadfully sad and depressing that would be. His life should not end that way”, she declared. We all agreed it would not reflect the Technicolor time he spent here.
We cried, mourned and laughed in panoply of color. I chose a coral dress, my sister wore an aqua, coral and black flame stitch knit, my mother looked lovely in her navy tunic with a touch of pink, and my brother selected a subtly festive pink and green print tie that mirrored the man who was his best friend.

We were the family that my father sired; loving, happy, and respectful of his strongest desire that we believe we will never really be apart. Psychologically, on the deepest cellular level, it felt soothing to wear color and celebrate his life not mourn it in black.

The large crowd of people in attendance followed convention and we were honored but we’d not have been offended if they had chosen color. I quietly would have delighted in a panorama of color, as I believe my father would have been as well.